The In-Home Donor Visit

By Chandra Towers Blatt
Senior Marketing Consultant

When I was a planned giving officer for the Wildlife Conservation Society (WCS), I was often invited by my donors to their homes for lunch. Between bites of Campbell's tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches - and sometimes Pepperidge Farm goldfish crackers, all common offerings when donors discovered that I was quasi-vegetarian - I learned many things, and you can too.

Stop Talking and Listen
When going on an in-home donor visit, be sure to be an active listener. People are often most comfortable in their own surroundings, and donors will surely open up - if you allow them to. One mistake that new planned giving officers sometimes make is talking too much because of nerves. Too much one-way chatter is sure to stifle a meaningful dialogue.

When I did in-person donor lunch meetings, donors would share stories of heroism (war veterans) and heartbreak (how they've been touched by loss) with me, and I was always amazed at the kindness and consideration they afforded me, an almost-stranger. They invited me into their homes and into their psyches, and I understood the importance and vulnerability of the gestures.

Because I listened way more than I spoke, donors often shared valuable information with me, such as why they first developed an affinity for my employer. Some had fond memories of childhood visits to the Bronx Zoo or Central Park Zoo, two WCS facilities, and others shared that they brought their children and grandchildren to the zoos over the years.

Others felt no connection to the living institutions in New York, but instead were captivated by the WCS international conservation programs. This dialogue was a window into why WCS and its mission was relevant to my donors, and those pieces of information were vital to the relationship with me and WCS.

Look Around
When I was in my mid-twenties I took a tour of France with my mother (who was studying art history at the time), along with her class and her art history professor. Even though my trip occurred almost twenty years ago, I vividly recall our tour of Château de Chenonceau in the Loire Valley. During the tour we entered and viewed the room of Queen Louise of Lorraine, the wife of Henry III, who had her room painted black and decorated with images of dark feathers, bones, and gravediggers' tools after the deaths of both her mother and husband, which happened within a very short period of time of each other. She apparently was never able to overcome her grief.

I recall how I felt compassion and sorrow for Queen Louise as I stood in that room; what pain she must have felt for her entire life!

When you enter your donors' homes, pay attention to what resonates with you. What you see and feel might not be as jarring as what I experienced when I entered Queen Louise of Lorraine's room (and the subsequent stories you hear are most likely not going to be filled with the turbulence and scandal of French history - though you never know!), but there will be much to learn.

My donors' homes were filled with photographs and memorabilia that helped me connect in numerous ways. Some had photographs of travels in Africa, which helped me join the dots and assume that international conservation was probably that donor's prime interest (and what follow-up questions would entail). Other homes featured photos taken in specific locations: Coney Island, Brooklyn, for example, which would help me deduce that this particular donor had a connection to the New York Aquarium (also located on Coney Island), another WCS location.

Artifacts in homes also tell stories and invite you into the donor's world. For example, some donors served me lunch on Wedgwood china while others served it on plastic plates featuring images of Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck. These small unspoken tidbits of information allowed me to connect with my donors and start to make assumptions about their interests and their level of wealth, which would later help me advise them regarding which planned gifts might be the best fit.

Cautiously Share
During donor visits there always comes a time when the donor wants to learn more about you, and it's certainly okay and beneficial to share, as two-way communication enables a connection and allows the relationship to flourish. That said, one mistake I sometimes observe in the new planned giving officer is the "blurring of the lines of the relationship."

Always remember, the donor is not your friend; he or she is the donor, and the donor's primary relationship is with your organization and not you. Here is a good litmus test: If you left your job tomorrow, would your donor follow you to your next job or stay connected to your current organization and continue the relationship through your replacement?

That said, honestly sometimes lines can become blurred a bit - and that's okay, I think, as long as the donor's relationship with the organization is not jeopardized. For example, there have been times, on very few occasions, when I actually became friends to some degree with a couple of my donors. Based on conversations with colleagues in the field over the years, it seems the same holds true for most.

It's human nature for like-minded people to connect, and chances are you and some of your donors, both championing a particular cause (you by working for the organization and the donor by supporting via a gift or gifts), have commonality and enjoy discussing what you are both passionate about.

Here's Looking at You, Kid
Donors are opening up to you by inviting you into their homes, and that's a bold, brave move (and kudos to you for helping donors to feel comfortable enough to do so). Thank your donor for entrusting you, and leave a small token of appreciation if possible - books, T-shirts - a small plush worked well for me based on the organization that I worked for.

Continuous good stewardship is also key to the relationship, and it's a good idea for you to check in once or twice a year to see if you can come again for a delicious grilled cheese sandwich and bowl of tomato soup!